Out of a life of loneliness and despair
the young boy encounters a relationship
that promises the fulfilment of his greatest wish.
Will he be able to overcome the obstacles in his way?
People walking past Martin's house feel uneasy. They have a sensation of being watched over by a pair of stalking eyes, although the child is not even looking their way. Of course, everyone in the neighbourhood knows that schoolmaster Martin's son has an empty mind.
And yet, is there something going on behind that sorry face while he stands at the window? With his lips barely moving, seemingly looking at a distant mirage that only he can see?
"Please God, is there a you? Nobody is listening to me. Will you - ? - will you listen? You do not answer. Do you not answer because you, only, listen? I want to fly, God. Please, I want to fly. I cannot fly inside this cage of red bricks. Will you open the door for me, God, so I can fly? Please God, if you are, some say there is a God, will you listen to me?"
His lament, this to the child so precious secret prayer is interrupted by dad's stern voice: "James, can you hear me! James, in - TWO - minutes it will be time for our mathematics lesson. Please present yourself in the study!"
Martin's face reminds one of a string of rainy days. "We are going to enjoy this lesson". He looks at his precision watch, waits for the second hand to arrive at the top and then: "Well now, let us begin. What is - three - times - six, James?
* * *
One day a new world opens up for Jamie. Wide-eyed he watches the happy relationship between a school mate, Dean and his adult friend, Robert. Jamie longs to have such a relationship too. Over the following weeks he invents situations that should draw Robert's attention to him. It becomes an obsession. He tries to find someone else who perhaps could take Robert's place. But his attempts are unsuccessful and only his private God knows the agony the situation has created for him. Although he has been able to smuggle himself right into Robert's home, he still has not found the courage to ask: "Would you be a friend to me, too?"* * *
Robert feels uneasy. How could he fulfil the child's wish? Should he approach the parents? They may be unfriendly. Or even hostile. How should he put it? 'James and I would like to become friends, is that ok?' or 'Your son Jamie asked me to become his friend'? For advice, in his dream he talks to his 'dream child', his younger self as a boy.* * *
The terror night broke Jamies spirit. He is not the same boy anymore. To him, everybody is evil, wicked. His parents are. Robert is. Even God is. Jamie's last lament: 'Please God, make me dead', remains unanswered. In a violent outburst he scorns the friendship idea. His parents are now convinced: Only Robert's imagination has created the whole situation. They tell him to make no further attempt and throw him out.* * *
People walking past Martin's house are happier now: The child doesn't stare out of the window anymore. Even the curtains remain closed.* * *
Copyright © 2008 Peter H. Schmedding, Canberra, Australia
E-mail the author: Peter's e-mail address